Season Barometer = Gut-Check Time
Yep, some of the Penguins fans (read: not of the HLOGer variety) have found this space. Probably has something to do with those farcical posts from earlier this week.
I'm very happy that you've made it this far. That being said, some of you have more work than others this round.
Blondie: I don't care if it's assists or goals, get some points. Make like the Mikes and Danny are injured again (even though they aren't). I'm going through withdrawal over here!
Tiny!Briere: Your paycheck...dude, it's HUGE. Make sure you earn it. (And no side competition for Best "Who, Me?" Face with Cindy, all right? Stand up, stay up and skate.)
Vinny: Where the hell are you? What are you doing? Don't get me wrong, the set-up work is invaluable. Just...I don't know...put one or two in, 'kay?
All of the D: One word...Malkin. If you require an explanation, talk to Marty or Niitty.
Goalies: Please observe every single one of your superstitions, no matter what anyone in your family or on the team says. (After all, I'll be doing my part in this arena, too!)
Coach: Drop the whole politically correct "urgency" thing. If they slack, tell them in no uncertain terms that you are not happy. A second option is to let a few (slightly disgruntled but not drunken) Flyers fans in the room. We don't just boo and yell "Sucks!" at players from other teams, as you well know.