NHL schedule: Mad crazy!

Dear Gentle Readers,

The hockey gods must love us for our dedication.

All 30 teams playing on the same day? In a simile relevant to my religious tradition, it's like Christmas!

Just think of all the hockey you could watch today. I haven't been this excited since, well...you know, I don't think I'll finish that thought after all.

On top of last night's regular season opener shut-out win against the Whalercanes, in which Blondie and Captain scored, I'm a happy Flyers fan. No clue how I'll feel after tonight's match-up with the Diablitos, but I'm taking it one game at a time.

News Flash for the Guys at Work
(Particularly GK)

Today's appointment went well. Provided there's no precip tomorrow or on the way to the office on Monday, my alter ego will make an appearance at work.

TBL: WTF?

Can anyone legitimately explain why we can't beat the Lightning, at least in a regular, 60-minute, three-period game? No? Me neither.

So I'm throwing out a big "hellz yeah" echo on Dear Captain's "ball you out in the media" game summary from last night:

"We really just got outworked the last two games," said captain Mike Richards. "It's kind of embarrassing how much they outworked us. It's unacceptable for a team that we have. It starts with the work ethic."

*Crickets chirping*

Um, yeah. That clears things up a whole bunch.

God help the NHL if everything were to start clicking with the Flyers. I'm not saying they could tie the whole thing up in a nice, neat, Detroit Redwings-type package, but the standings and season could become just a little more interesting. At least then all the other teams' fans would have a real reason to dislike the team and the fans.

So, enough with the on-ice vacations, guys. 'Cause I'm starting to develop that shell-shocked look Penélope Cruz wears in the Jeep in Sahara when they're fleeing the scene where her team is massacred by Kazim's soldiers...and that's not hot or cute.

Scared to read anything related to tonight's game while it's in progress,
Flyers.Femme
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Hunh?

WTH to WTF, all in one game.

Imagine what kind of points damage the Flyers could do if the guys played 60 minutes of hockey in every remaining game of the regular season like they did the last 20 minutes, overtime, and the shoot-out on Thursday. *Shudder, sigh*

I truly cannot comprehend it.

Congratulations to Scott Hartnell on his hat trick. Oh, and we won on a shoot-out? Sweet! (Though kinda unnecessary...)

Amazed,
Flyers.Femme


P.S.: I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in the locker room during the second intermission.

What the...?

When Track Records Bite, er, Hurt

Last season we had a bunch of repeat offender injuries: self-inflicted tears to major leg muscles by The Mikes, any number of groin pulls, several non-specific upper and lower body injuries, and quite a few concussions (yes, more than Simon's three). Then there is the granddaddy of them all as far as yours truly is concerned...the puck to the face.

Last season, two of my faves ended up with 25 and 50+ stitches in the face after being blasted. Last night, Ossi Vaananen and Luca Sbisa took 'em in the face. Granted, their outcomes were nothing like dear Sami nor anything remotely approximating Coburn in the FPoW final.

All I can say is thank God, but please make it stop! Do you have any idea how hard it is to be at the game and try to avoid all the screens showing the replay in a building with "Welcome to Comcast Country" emblazoned on the walls? *Shudder*

12/04 v. NJD at Home

Really, it was not as thrilling as I would have liked it to be. I'm sure the Devils fans love the outcome.

My (new) favorite Finn scored the first goal on an unassisted slapshot in the second. It was a thing of beauty.

Not so beautiful? Upshall checking himself into the boards to start the third. He made up for it by slipping a wrister in with about 4:30 left in the game. That's when the nail biting started...y'know, if I bit my nails.

I feel as if, sometimes, the Flyers are...hesitant...to win a game outright. Like they really have to go into OT for it to count, which is so not the case because the other team gets at least a point and there's a 50-50 shot that we don't win.

That's what happened last night. Next time, try not to give them all freakin' day to set up, 'kay?

Kudo to my second favorite Finn: Kukkie, I love when you put your body on the line like that! And was that you being a teensy, little bit lippy on the way to the box? :)

In Other Hockey-Centric News

• A six game suspension. (Oh, and therapy. Don't forget therapy!) Here's hoping the Stars level even more punishment to the tally (games out, pay, whatever...just so it's more).
• A six game suspension for that (plus the other total crap spewed this season so far)? When the average suspension for a head shot is either three or four games? I'll repeat my comment to a post on HLOG now:

In all seriousness, I'm for the NHL growing a pair, using their collective brain power, sorting their shite out, and getting some real process for suspensions. This arbitrary crap is tweaking my last nerve, so maybe I'll suspend them for the cumulative bother. :p

End of rant.

So, I'll just be hanging in my humble abode (it really is), prepping for my open house next Friday, and chillin' to a game tomorrow night on a local TV station that is not a proprietary sports channel for The (New) Evil Empire.

Making merry one driving punk song at a time,
Flyers.Femme
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Um, I Don't Get It...

What Really Is Suspension-Worthy in the NHL?

Dude, after this, I've got no clue. Honestly.

I'm trying to find where Sean Avery dissing an ex and the newer flame is covered in the rule book or other agreements.

Or is that exes and new/old flames? It's not like he specifically mentioned Elisha Cuthbert and Dion Phaneuf, nor Mike Komisarek, Rachel Hunter, and Jarrett Stoll. And continuing with the devil's advocate train of thought, couldn't there be other, non-starlet examples, too? Quite possibly.

Look, I've busted a few times on Sean Avery. He's so much fun to not like, he provides really awesome fodder to spur that dislike, and he seems to positively revel in it. Avery is the current, undisputed Instigator Douche Trash-Talker Extraordinaire of the NHL.

Personally, I find this incident just a little funny because it's not like the same thought hasn't occurred to and been voiced by a few hockey fans already.

So would Bettman have hockey fans believe that the use of this one, not-as-vulgar-as-everyone-insists-it-is slang phrase is more deserving of a suspension than Avery's previous, more serious ones? Are we to believe that no league- or team-level management staff has never used "sloppy seconds" or more heinous terminology to refer to an ex in the past?

Besides, it sounds like the Stars organization was prepared to level some hefty punishment on Avery all by itself. Let them reign him in since they're paying his contract and have to deal with that limited no-trade clause.

I think the real issues are this:

• Sean Avery has punched enough buttons verbally this year that this comment - crude and classless as it was - just pushed everyone over the tipping point.
• Sean Avery is freakin' Sean Avery.
  

But that's not the tone of the explanation the league is giving. We'll wait and see what they say with the final decision.

Cat, I'm really tempted to request a "Free Avery" T-shirt if it becomes available and costs less than $10. I can totally PayPal you.

And in Other, Flyers-centric News

We beat the Lightning! Blondie, you are a hot b****. Richie, dear captain, you're a beast.

Mystified,
Flyers.Femme
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On Coach Stevens

One of the recent weekly topics over at HLOG was to write about our team's coach. So, for better or worse, here's my take - as of right now - on Coach John Stevens.

During the season that shall not be named, the Flyers waited eight games for eight straight losses, then revamped the GM and Coach. John Stevens moved from the Phantoms, our AHL team, across the parking lot to the big team.

For many, this seemed to be good move due to his history with the organization as 1.) a player for our AHL teams the Hershey Bears and the Philadelphia Phantoms, coincidentally with the latter as the captain during their 1998 Calder Cup championship win, and 2.) as a coach, when he led the Phantoms to their second Calder Cup in 2005.

Currently, I'm of two minds with regard to Johnny for one simple reason: he's too freakin' steady behind the bench! Why is this a problem?

Well, let me start with why I like Coach Stevens being so steady. Last season was awesome for Flyer fans! (Um, until February when everything when further south than an ice cube in the Sahara.) While much of that success came from the guys wearing the equipment and uniforms, another part was due to Stevens' consistency and support. Line shuffling, injuries, and - yes - suspensions happened, but Johnny stayed on-message. He reaffirmed the skills that needed to be developed and the areas that were strong.

But, darn it, he needed to call a few guys out for suckitude! In my view, that only happened once last season. And this is becoming more of my attitude for whatever is going down with the team this year...going down being the operative part of the description.

Honestly, getting the puck in the goal isn't our biggest issue at this point, if the scores from all those seven loses at the start of the season are anything to go by. (And, yes, they are!)

No, our issue is far more ironic than that: defense. Ironic for two simple reasons.

1.) It was our sticking point last season and it's playing out that way yet again.

Right as we headed into the regular season this year, we lost two players who I think could be key to our defense being successful during the 08-09 campaign: Ryan Parent and Randy Jones. And it's not like we lost them for a short time, a la Tiny!Briere. Nope, Parent is out 12-14 weeks and Jones was scheduled for 6-8 weeks.

Also, our defense not playing up to par in terms of positioning, speed, and sheer gutsy-ness means that our goalies are working harder and not as smartly.

2.) John Stevens was a defenseman.

Dear Coach

So, when's the trip to Whistler? 'Cause I feel like the guys need it. If you don't have the time, inclination, or cash for one in Western Canada, might I recommend a former place of employment?

At any rate, consider the option of some team-building activities. That way, when things are sorted with the Phillies and sports mojo returns to another City of Brotherly Love team, you're maybe in a better position than the Eagles to take advantage of it.

After all, we'll be over that other mojo suckage phenomenon caused by the special guest.

Now, I'm going to try and find Sami's phone number...

Ciao,
Flyers.Femme
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Oh, For the Love of...

Dear NHL merchandisers,

Are you people hockey fans? Do you watch the sport? Do any women who aren't in kindergarten work for you?

I intensely, passionately dislike your female fan gear designs. To put it bluntly, they suck!

• I'm not going to reprise my I hate pink post.
  
• I'm going to roll my eyes, wave my hand dismissively, and say "Pfft" to Alyssa Milano's not-even-remotely ice rink appropriate touch line. (Might not want to read that at work, peeps.)
  
• I'm going to bite my knuckle before vomiting on those nasty Silver Ice and Rbk HerShield jerseys.
  

If I were girlie, I might - MIGHT - consider purchasing a tastefully, yet pricey bedazzled or metallic gel-beaded T-shirt or thermal because at least they're in the team's freakin' colors.

But I'm not - girlie or going to buy the sparkly T.

And before you break out the fat Philly female fan remarks, let me just say...nuh-uh. Not even remotely close. Just ask around.

We, the female fans and most all of the rabid HLOGers, demand our fan gear in the team's actual colors, without Swarovski bedazzling, and in styles a lady would wear to this supposedly family friendly sport's games.

Until then, I will be languishing in the boys' department, which is more economy-friendly anyway.

Kind regards,
Flyers.Femme

Request: Interest in Off-Season Posts

Attention, hockey bloggers!

If you are:

1. A serious hockey fan,
2. Civilized,
3. Capable of posting under a name other than "Anonymous," and
4. Have interest in providing an 07/08 wrap-up and 08/09 preview

Contact me!

I'm plotting an off-season schedule that includes written interviews, audio and maybe even video posts and podcasts for every NHL team. Ideally, I'd like to spotlight my HLOG sisters and any interested male bloggers for each team.

Happy Summer!

Nadine of Flyers.Femme

Heart Failure Over Here!

Note to the Flyers

Dudes,

What're trying to do to me, huh?

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the final result of last night's game. But, two OTs for crying out loud?

Totally not necessary!

Oh, and welcome back to the Land of Scoring, Blondie!

Note to Boudreau

Give Godzilla the start next game! You're seriously pissing me off with the HueT train, 'kay? Put the big guy in and let's really rock this series, no matter what the outcome is tomorrow afternoon.

Really, pissing me off...

Note to my friends over at FHF

¿Qué fue Ché? Could one of you guys 'splain to me what happened last night? Who gave the Broons the kryptonite for TFS (tm by FHF)?

Whatever. I so do not highly recommend the win-one-lose-one game train.

Note to Scarlett Ice

I'm sorry that the guys didn't really care about your bunny. Loved the Gary Roberts pillow!

Note to the Diablitos and Evil Blue Shirts

Please take each other out already.

Note to Gentle Readers

Aren't the play-offs fun? God, I love this time of year!

2/21 Sharks v. Flyers

Dear Flyers,

Pardon the girlie, PMS-y question here, but I missed my telenovelas for that?!!?

I have some truly snarky comments I could make. I'm not going to do it tonight. (Tomorrow may be a different story.)

As painful as that game was for the fans, it has to have been 100 times worse for all of you and I just don't feel like crapping on you when everyone else will do it. I mean, I even feel sorry for Tiny!Briere right now.


Dear Flyers in-house, in-game promoters,

You should be ashamed of yourselves! You should have stuck that ice girl in any other jersey tonight.

Or are you trying to make the fans believe that you had no idea Briere will be booed harder by us in the Wachovia Center than by the Habs fans in the Bell Centre?


Dear Gentle Readers,

I can't even begin to dissect that game. My frustration level tonight was higher than the Nov. 17th Devils-induced blow-out I witnessed from Row 1 behind the goal.

Oh and I did something I have never done before: I left the game before it was over! If the Flyers weren't going to win, I wasn't going to miss my train home for it. Selfish I know, however, I'm 99.99% certain that my staying wouldn't have positively influenced the game's outcome for us.


Dear Mike Knuble,

Thanks for setting up that play and going for the goal. Loved it! (Way to pitch in Rosie and Richie.)

P.S.: The new haircut looks great on you. Did you go to the same place as Sami, Kimmo and Danny?


Dear God,

Please, help!

Also, please send enough crappy weather to give me a snow day tomorrow. I won't complain about the 5:30 a.m. wake-up call if it means I can go straight back to bed and start my weekend earlier.

2/10 Flyers v. Pens

Rant #1: Yep, don't give us excuses. None of us wants to hear them. Moving on...

Rant #2: I'll get to my point shortly but here's the back-story...

So, I'm reading over all the pre-game chatter and articles related to today's Battle of Pennsylvania match-up and imagine my surprise when I read this comment by Ryan Malone:

"Sid gets a lot of attention. Now that Geno's [Evgeni Malkin] under the microscope, everybody is seeing how talented he is. He's right up there with all the best players in the league. He's just proving it now. We all knew that before, but I think everyone else is realizing that as well."

Pardon me, but there was confusion about Malkin being one of the best in the NHL?

We are talking about last season's Calder Trophy winner, right? Do you people think they just hand that sparkly out to any old player?

Here's the deal: Yep, Cindy Crosby is a good player. However, his promotion as the de facto NHL player SpokesBot does not negate and should not overshadow the greatness of one Evgeni Malkin. Kid's record only looks as anemic as it has because he's been forced to make room for Crosby at center (his true position) to play wing.

Look, I don't like Malkin. I have nothing against him personally, really. This dislike is due to the fact that he plays for the Pens and is frequently the on-ice companion of one Cindy Crosby, who drives me up the freakin' wall! Were he playing for the Flyers, I'm sure I'd feel a lot more generous towards the kid.

Dear Guys,

Yep, Scottie's still out. Now Coby's out, too. We have Lups back and his presence can be felt.

Here's the deal. Make today's game the tilt it should be and we all expect. Here's what to keep in mind today:

• Absolutely, positively no unnecessary penalties!
• Do not let Malkin get free. Whoever's assigned to him, play the man and the puck when he has it.
• Gator, let Malone start whatever he wants. Just make sure to finish it.
• One-word, which requires no explanation: Laraque. Yep, him.

Attention NHL Coaches

Dear coaches of the NHL,

A quick question for the lot of you: What gives?

And NHL team owners and GMs, why are you guys just sitting back, paying these guys big salaries, and letting this crap happen?

(I would direct a word or two towards Goon Bettman, but he really doesn't understand the finer points of the game...even after all these years. And, frankly, he's not worth the time it took to type that.)

I really do not understand what I'm seeing or why I'm seeing it.

In what alternate reality can a player expect to put his head on level with the boards while an opposing player is skating in for the check from very close proximity, and everybody acts like it's a big surprise when the stupid guy is injured?

Because in this universe, you do get hurt for doing that crap...and I'd be tempted to argue you should be hurt for reason of stupidity, as well as committing a midget level mistake.

I have it on good authority from my brother and several friends (both male and female) who were/are hockey players that coaches do teach players how to not get hurt. If it's not the first lesson, it's one of the first five.

So what's the deal with supposedly professional ice hockey players forgetting a basic tenet of the game? No offense intended, but I find it really hard to believe that none of your coaches taught you that on the way up. In fact, I will call you a liar to your faces for it.

But coaches, c'mon, why the heck aren't you doing your job and teaching these kids how to play hockey in the NHL?

Mr. Julien, and all of the other coaches out there, please...I beg of you...teach your guys how to protect their brains and bodies.

The Flyers follow through on their checks because they learned to take their hits standing up and shouldering into it. There's no turtling, nor any looking right at the guy and giving him your back when you're standing a pace-and-a-half off the boards.

As a result, the reasonable presumption would be that other professional hockey players were taught to do and will do the same thing. (Hey, Grapes, Melrose and Keith Jones can only all be in agreement on something if it is, in fact, the truth.)

Had Bergeron and Alberts done that, Jonesy and Hartsie wouldn't have the "meaningless" suspensions they've been issued...and Colin Campbell wouldn't have to issue them.

Note to the NHL and Referees

My optimism has ended. I really tried to keep it alive. However, you mercilessly destroyed it. So...

I dare you to call a penalty on hits to the face/head and issue a suspension on someone who doesn't wear a Flyers uniform!

I.triple.dog.dare.you!

(Whether or not the Flyers are playing in that game is immaterial at this point. You've bypassed at least one "two-for" already.)

Yeah! & Grr!

Good: We beat the Canucks. Final score was 8-2. (Looks more like a Cleveland Indians score!)

Also good: It feels like fall...in fall. Temps in the 90s in October is not nice. It's also not hockey weather. So, yeah mother nature!

Bad. Very, very, very BAD: Jesse. Come on! Wwhat was that all about? Are you completely oblivious to the suspension already visiting our team? Do the guys in communications really need more work?

I don't think so.

Like another individual, you let your small brain do the thinking, and it left a small child in charge. Grow up. And I really, sincerely hope coach and the other guys let you have it the whole ride home from BC. (And, yes, you deserve the suspension that you expect to be coming your way.)

[Climbing up from my rant-pit...the acoustics are much better than standing on a soapbox]

Only one full day remains between me and my...our...the regular season home opener. Stop by 224 and say hi.

If you plan to be at the Devils game on the 18th, I'll be checking out the view from 206.

Leaving no hot dog un-turned: AYCE hockey?

Kristin at eager to go psycho detailed some of the issues related to potential ring-around-the-rosie games awaiting (unfortunate) ticket holders that will surround the former goalie judge seats.

Feeling left out because you can't afford that? Don't worry, Comcast-Spectacor at the Wachovia Center is taking care of you.

A limited number of "All-You-Can-Eat" tickets will be sold for the Flyers' 41 home games. That's right, for an extra $20 - 40, depending on where you normally sit in the cheap seats, fans will be making unlimited trips to two concession stands for up to four of the following each time:

• hot dogs
• soft drinks
• popcorn
• nachos with cheese and salsa

Staff say they're "always looking for new ways to enhance our fans overall experience when they attend an event" and that ayce was a suggestion they received.

While I'm in favor of not having to bleed $$ every time I need or want to eat something at a sporting event, be warned - I will cross-check you if you (a) make me get out of your way too many times or (b) you spill anything on me.

Well, you know, unless you bring me back a soft drink, hot dog and nachos with cheese until I cry uncle.

Pink?!? Why?

I passionately dislike pink...and it pains me to put even that much of it on here. I have never liked it. I don't look good in it. In fact, it gives me a headache and severely tests my gag reflex.

I briefly addressed my wish to never see the pink and white jerseys in an earlier post. Imagine my horror when I tuned into HLOG* this week and read this one.

As you can see, serious female hockey fans representing teams across the league are united on the matter. We don't like pink, largely because it will group us with the puck bunnies from whom we must constantly distinguish ourselves.

My work in communications, public relations and marketing leads me to the following questions:

(1) Why are sports merchandisers buying in to the pink hype?
(2) Did the NHL merchandisers do any market testing before releasing the pink wave on us?
(3) If so, who formed the test group: five year olds, rink bunnies and Comrie's girlfriend?
(4) Do the merchandising reps for the NHL or the teams have female staff?
(5) If so, are they listening to fangirls like me?

I think i'll change my dream job. I believe my calling in life now is to land a merchandising job with a team or the league so that this crap doesn't happen any more.

Female Flyer fans got off easy this round. Check out these Red Wings and Sabres t-shirts...aren't they - like - so fabulous?

Merchandising guys, take note: We just want team jerseys, in the team colors, that are cut for the female fan.

*Hockey school: Hockey Ladies of Greatness blog, contributed to by blogging female fans from almost all of the NHL teams.

Off-topic rant: WTF in Chi-town?

Hockey is my favorite sport. The Flyers are my favorite NHL team. I live in Philadelphia. (This last statement has been true for almost 3 years.)

However, I need to rant about my second favorite nhl team in a former "hometown": the Chicago Blackhawks.

WTF? What did they do to merit the absolute travesty happening there?

Not familiar with the story? Sad facts:

(1) As an Original 6* team, the Blackhawks are an NHL institution.
(2) Thanks to the 'Hawks, we can celebrate Stan Mikita, Bobby Hull, Pierre Pilote, Glenn Hall, Phil & Tony Esposito, Pat Stapleton, Bill White, Denis Savard, Steve Larmer, Tony Amonte, etc. In short, many of the greats played there.
(3) Current owner Bill Wirtz does not allow home games to be shown on local stations.
(4) Wirtz raised ticket prices at the same time.
(5) The 'Hawks scrapped fan-favorite announcer Pat Foley in 2006, after a 25-year run.

Add up # 3 - 5 and let # 1 and 2 stick in your craw and you begin to understand why Chicago hockey fans have dumped "Dollar Bill" Wirtz and the 'Hawks for the city's AHL team, The Wolves. (It doesn't hurt that Pat Foley can be heard at their games and they've used the marketing slogan "We play hockey the old-fashioned way: we actually win.")

The impressive part is that traditional Chicago hockey fans know they're being alienated by the management. Sadly, there are newer (read: young) fans who don't really know that Chicago has an NHL team. Can you blame them? The team missed the playoffs in 1998, the first time in 29 years. (There was a forgettable 2002 return, however the the Blackhawks lost in the first round to the blues.)

No offense meant to the sun-belt and non-tundra expansion teams, but you guys, sink or swim. The NHL is fairly hands-off when it comes to team management. However, I personally can't stand to see this happen to an Original 6 team in the NHL.

Makes me wish that someone in charge had the cojones to take the team away from Wirtz, reinstate local game coverage on Chicago stations, and reunite adoring 'Hawks fans with the black and red.

I mean, isn't it bad enough that they have to deal with the Cubs, the White Sox, the (non-Jordan) Bulls and - up until last year - da Bears?

Of course, this is all the opinion of a former Chicago-land resident who is a Philadelphia Flyers fan...and if there's one thing Philly sports fans learn early, it's stick with your team no matter what.

*hockey school: Ignoring the fact that the Original 6 is a misnomer, the list is rounded out by the Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, Montreal Canadiens, New York Rangers, and Toronto Maple Leafs.

P.S.: Mentioning Jordan reminds me of another thing...

STOP SAYING WAYNE GRETZKY WAS THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF HOCKEY. Michael Jordan was the Wayne Gretzky of basketball.

All I want for hockey season 2007-2008 is...

to not see those disastrous pink and white women's Flyers jerseys! Fangirl I may be, but girly? Uh, no. Besides, the team has official colors.

Better give me the orange and black.